Letter #4

4/14/2016

Dear You,

Life and all those responsibilities are wrapping me like a cocoon, except the silk is starting to feel like rough binds and I’m starting to suffocate. I fear I will not emerge as a butterfly, but instead be crushed and forgotten.

As I was talking about this feeling today, I realized something: You taught me how to become a butterfly.

You taught me that growth isn’t something that just happens; it’s something that you work towards.

I’ve always been scared of the next step and what awaited me when my foot touched the ground in front of the other.

But I survived.

I was scared about what would happen to us after he left.

I was scared about moving to a new city on my own.

I was scared about moving back before my time was up.

I was scared about loving him too much.

I was scared about him loving me at all.

I was scared about completing something I never thought possible.

I was scared about my calling.

I’m scared about having the things now that took you so much time to get.

My fear is stifled when I realize that’s what you wanted for me all along.

I realize that the binds aren’t as tight or as rough as when I first felt them. They feel like sweet silk against me. I realize the wrapping isn’t made of life and responsibility.

It’s made of you.

Your smile, your laugh, your words, your struggle, your tears, your victory, your arms. I am surrounded by you.

I’m not scared anymore. I am proud. I am happy. I am thankful.

I am yours and you taught me well.

This pressure I feel, is no longer suffocating. It’s molding me to become the butterfly I’ve always seen you as.

Thank you for showing me how to live this life and live it well.

Love,

Me

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